V's speech
Voilà!
In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into wall]
The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Some redditors recreated the V’s speech using different alphabets. Check thread.
§
A’s speech
Achtung!
Acertain now, an abashed, absurd adept, cast alternately as both the assaulted and the assailer by the apathy of Fate. This appearance, no mere aesthetic affectation, is an aftertaste of autonomy, now abandoned, absent. However, this adventurous apparition of an antiquated aggravation stands anew, and shall avowedly tear asunder these accursed and acrid apes approving amorality and allowing the atrociously abhorrent and avid abuse of accord.
[carves A into wall]
The only assurance is avengement; acrimony, held as anointed, not abortive, for the appositeness and assuredness of such shall one day absolve the assiduous and the accredited.
[giggles]
Assuredly, this applesauce of adverbs ain’t too articulate, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me A.
§
B’s speech
Behold, a beleagured, bathetic brigadier, cast as both the brigand and the beseiged by the backhandedness of fate. This bemasked countenance, no mere brocade of beauty, is a bastion of the ballot box, now barren, bereft. However, this brazen bestirring of a bygone bete noire stands born-again, and has made bond to blight these bumptious and bilious bugs buttressing baseness and burnishing the bestially brutal and bacchanalian breach of birthrights.
[carves B into wall]
The byword is bellicosity; a blood feud, held as a bright banner, not baselessly, for the benefits and bona fides of such shall one day bestow blessings on the brave and the benevolent.
[giggles]
Be sure, this bisque of blather becomes most bombastic, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me B.
§
C’s speech
Callate!
Clearly seen, a courteous clownish cobbler, cast consecutively as both casualty and cause by the caprice of Fate. This countenance, no mere crust of conceitedness, is a curio of the collective voice, now cast away, cast aside. However, this courageous cohering of an old and creaky conundrum now stands carnate, and has committed to conquering these crass and contemptible curs concurring with corruption and caretaking over the cannabalistically cruel and calamitous contravention of individual capacity.
[carves C into wall]
The only consequence is comeuppance; a calling into account, held as cherished, not without cause, for the caliber and cogency of such shall one day corroborate the circumspect and the chaste.
[giggles]
Clearly, this clam chowder of chatter craves condensing, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me C.
§
M’s speech
Well met!
Measure carefully, a humble past maestro, cast as both mistreated and malefactor by the mutations of Fate. This manner, no mere masquerade of immodesty, is a mark of manumission, now missing, melted away. However, this mettle manifestation of a bygone millstone stands magnificently, and has moved to macerate these money-grubbing and malicious miscreants marshaling misconduct and mingling with the murderous malignant and merciless molestation of free mindedness.
[carves M into wall]
The only motion is militant; a measure for measure, made as a compact, not meaninglessly, for the ministration and morality of such shall one day maintain the single-minded and meritorious.
[giggles]
Might I add, this medley of muddled maxims meanders most maunderingly, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to you and you may call me M.
§
O’s speech
“O for Onslaught”
Observed as an ordinary old oaf, ostentatiously organized as both outcast and outlaw by the objectionable options of fate. This outfit, no mere obfuscation of originality, is the only orator of the ordinary-man, now oppressed, olden. However, this outlandish occurrence of an outdated obstacle stands re-originated, and has objective to oust these obscene and opprobrious oligarchs owning offense and ostensibly ostracizing the openly outrageous and obdurate obliteration of opportunity.
[carves O into Wall]
The only outcome is to overthrow; an onslaught, whose onset is offered, open-handedly, with the opinion and optimism that such shall one day oblige ovation of the observant and the objective.
[giggles]
Obviously, this overwhelming oration has opted overboard, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me O.
§
P’s speech
Presto!
Presented, a humble practiced performer, cast by proxy as both predator and prey by the permutations of Fate. This pretense, no mere posture of pride, is a persistence of the populi vox, now passed, perished. However, this plucky presentation of a by-gone problem stands primed, and has pledged to penalise these perfidious and poisonous pests protecting perversion and promising the powerfully primitive and prodigious prohibition of purpose.
[carves P into wall]
The only pronouncement is punishment; a payback, held as a pact, not profitless, for the price and probity of such shall one day protect the perspicacious and the pure.
[giggles]
Positively, this potpurri of pleonasm pivots most periphrastic, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me P.
§
Q’s speech
Quære!
Quidam, a quaint and quondam quipster, queased to the quomodo of quarry and quisling by the queerness of kismet. This quirled quiff, no mere quixotic quodlibetary, is a quantum of the quisquose quorum, now quiesced and quieted. However, this quercine quintessence of a queasomed querimony quinches quickened, and has quested to quelch these quæstuary, quisquilious, and quinsied quabs quapping with quedhead and quething the quatting quassation and quackling quodding of querulation.
[quinses a ‘Q’ into the podium’s quadra]
The quale of the quest is quietus for the qued; held as a quæsitum, not quiddling, for the quality and quiddity of such shall one day queme the querist and the quiddle.
[quacks with laughter]
Quand même, this quarring quagmire of quethery quirks most quotted, so let me quickly qualify that it quite quiches me to meet you, mon capitaine, and you may call me ‘Q’.
§
Alphabet’s speech
Ahem!
Behold, a courteous disciplined expert, framed as both guilty and heel by the ironic juxtaposition of karma. This lingering masquerade, no overlay of pompousness, the questionable remnant of social disobedience, terminated. Unless, we valorous warriors, xebec yachtsmen, stand zealously against the bribing, censorious, demons, the execrable foul greedy hoarder of innovations.
[carves Alphabet into wall]
The only justice is knowledge, liberating the millions of netizens from the opposition that prohibits questions, resistance, and self-identity. There are no taboos, only unaccountability of the vermins, xenobiotic yeasts that stand at the world’s zenith.
[buhahahaha]
Admittedly, this is a blabbering concoction of discursively effective gibberish and hyperarticulation, so let me simply add that it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call us Anonymous.
Footnotes
This type of writing by setting a constraint, e.g. to start every word with the same letter, is called Constrained Writing. To be more specific, a tautogram (Greek: tauto gramma, “same letter”) is a text in which all words start with the same letter. The difference between a tautogram and alliteration is that tautograms are a written, visual phenomenon, whereas alliterations are a phonetic one.
Examples (taken from the same reddit thread):
Pardon me? “Plainer?” Perhaps my perception is partially prejudice, but the poetry provides a patter which is important in portraying V’s passion for propagation. You’ve purged the portent of his promulgation.
Friends! Funny how fanatics and fundamentalists feign faithfulness to foolish old fairy-tales! Our forefathers fantasised of a land free and fixed with fine foundations for its fraudsters, ferocious fraudulent figures financing the fiction that Fox News feeds us. Our future is fragile unless the free spirited unite toward a fraternity and face with foresight the formidable fools our formerly fabulous fountains of free thought once formed. Or we will fall, fatally to this façade?!